RETURN OF THE RAT

Well, the Lunar New Year is upon us in the land of more than the McDonald's sign claims to have served is upon me. Yes...Chinese New Years!!! I didn't realize the magnitude such an event could have on a culture. Take Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, 4th of July and your 21st birthday and roll it into one giant Spring Roll. Deep fry it, light a sparkler, and pretend you just found Nirvana and you're almost there. The guys dressed in Drag...whoops that's Thailand, sorry...Dragon costumes, people playing instruments I can't identify and yes...the almighty Firework stands are everywhere. No I'm not talking about Bargain Betty's on the Lummi Reservation fireworks...not the Bubba Joe's fireworks from Tennessee either. I'm saying...everyone and there dog saves for three months to emplode as many man made pyrotechnics they can afford. As the Bai Jui flows and the Tsingtao bottles empty it makes for a spectacular site and a lot of trips to the emergency room. If you are a nurse and you have any burn unit experience...you could have a years work in one of the holyist of holy nights in Red China. Nothing like witnessing 4 and 5 year old children blowing up boxes bigger than they are. Whatever happened to M-80's and sparkler bombs???? I guess with the one child rule in affect they figure this might be there only way of having a second child. Cards were in the cards also. If you can play three card no look poker and enjoy a round of Mai Jong this is your type of party. Oh...yeah...Mom and Dad you are wrong. There are no starving kids in China...so that crap you pulled on me as a kid about finishing my plate is highly inaccurate...Like Santa Clause...I feel lied too!!! These people do not cheat themselves when it comes to food. When you think they are done bringing food to the table...we'll you're wrong...there is always more coming. For such a small figured country (Sorry Yao Ming) these people eat like James Cornell after a 40 day fast. I'm always impressed and always full when I leave the table. I sit here at well over 250 and I was just out eaten by a 90 pound soaking wet Chinese female. I'm still trying to investage where these dainty females put all that rice!!! Once I get to the bottom of it I'll make sure I inform you guys!!! My only real knock on the year of the Rat is that ever little logo or emblame or souvigner I see is a mouse. No not micky or minny...but a suprising resemlance to Speedy Gonzalez. That's not a rat China...that's a mouse. Go down to your sewer system and I'll guarantee you'll learn the difference.
How about that Superbowl...all you Eli Manning haters need to suck it up and admit that (David Tyree's catch aside) he was nails during the playoffs. I guess Cooper Manning is the only brother who has yet to live up to Daddy's expectations. Poor Cooper...but he's another after school special I don't have time to talk about. I was hoping the Pat's would pull off the undefeated season, but I can't say I wasn't hurt to see the northern eastern seaboard be silenced for once. With the RedSox Nation, The Pat's run, and the super hyped Celtics...it was good to see the ticker tape parade be sent elsewhere. If I could just figure out how to make Seattle somehow find a way to steal a title in any sport, I couldn't be happier.
The weather has been actually pretty amazing considering where I live and the sun seems to shine every single day. The bitter cold has subsided, but when the winds blow in from the Gobi desert you better find your parka. Gives a whole new meaning to shrinkage!!! It's strange...we've been having such wonderful weather that it makes it hard to sell air purifiers. You can actually go outside and not catch the Beijing cough. I need sick dying children!!! Sorry that is just wrong...but a heavy smog covering the city couldn't hurt business. But...business has closed for the New Year and I'm getting ready to disappear and forget about the cold and sales cycle for 10 days. It's on to warm climates and more beautiful Asian women. I leave tomorrow bound for Vietnam, and than I will make a side trip to Phuket, Thailand to visit one of my most favorite spots in the world. 10 days of relearning how to say hello and thank you while wearing my birkenstocks and bad Hawaiian shirts will be welcome. A round of golf will be in order and a boat cruise on the crystal clear Ademman Sea will give me great pleasure. Being in Beijing for 4 weeks, returning to the same apartment each night and the same desk each morning has sent my body into a tail spin. I'm a road warrior at heart and that will never change. So buckeling in on a flight in the morning will be more welcome than should be considered normal. I wouldn't care if I was flying to Sioux City, Monkton, Reading, or any other podunct North American city...as long as I can get back on the road I'll be a happy little camper. Although I'm being stimulated and challenged everyday being a Beijing Virgin...I still have the road in my blood.
So I'm off to see the Ho Chi Ming trail and cruise down the Makong Delta and go hang out with the king in Thailand. Until next time...keep your mind on your money, and your money on your mind fools!!!!

WAR - Bob Knight...like Norman Dale...I've always loved you and think it's a sad day in the world of sports that you decided to hang up the whistle. The game will miss you, if not for your coaching prowess...but for you unbelievable post game interview sessions. Long live the Bobby Knight legacy and the dying breed he represents.

Chief