Sunday, April 13, 2008
I'M BACK
No I didn’t get deported….
The great disappearing act of 2008 has finally come to an end. After many inquires and request for me to update the blog I’m back at the laptop trying to think where the time has gone. No I didn’t get thrown in a Chinese prison or get ran over by the Beijing public transportation. I’ve just been…well…lazy. Busy as can be…but how hard is it to sit down and spill my guts on this clean sheet? So last time I updated the blog I was just coming back from the adventures of SE Asia. We’ll that time has come and gone and the sand and surf of Phuket and the cockroaches of Vietnam are no more than a distant memory. So what I have I been doing. As you might have seen I went to a MLB baseball game between the LA Dodgers and San Diego Padres…the first time MLB has staged an exhibition in Red China. It was cheap entertainment…about 4 US dollars for seats in the outfield. But I have to question the Chinese and if they’re going to be ready for the Olympics? The security line to get into the game was pretty much a joke. Sure it looked stringent from afar but the long masquerading line was just a typical Chinese façade of security. The boys looked sharp in there Uniform, but they missed the concept of “Security” in a big way. You could have driven two tanks through there and they would have smiled and waved you through ignoring the loud beeping noises coming from the metal detectors. Hey but they did stop me from bringing my water bottle in there…they must be taking lesson’s from the TSA or something. The concept of concession stands was also missed. Actually an Ex-Pat from Seguin, Tx…just outside San Antonio was granted the rights to set up his BBQ joint inside the stadium. The food is terrible and the service sucks…but it’s still the concept of BBQ that get me excited. Albeit spending 2 ½ innings in line to get a beer and a hotdog the atmosphere was exciting and I think every Ex-Pat must have gone to at least one game during the weekend. I almost forgot I was in China minus the fact the Chinese contingent decided to cheer for every single thing that took place. From a ground ball out to a foul ball it was a thrilling time for my Chinese brethren who knew nothing before attending and left knowing probably less!!!! Regardless, the beer was cheap and it was the boys of summer playing in my new back yard.
Let’s see…Personal update…looks like the Chief and his Saigon woman have had to take a leave of absence from each other. The distance of Beijing to Saigon makes it difficult and our busy schedules conflict to have a true meaningful relationship. But we’ll always have Phuket!!!! But as the world turns so does my love life. After meeting a few girls in China I hadn’t really figured any of them we’re worthy of such a stud like me. But recently I’ve been hanging out with a new friend. She just graduated from Peking University (supposedly the Harvard of China) and is pursuing her Masters in Health Sciences…she’s Pre-Med. Good thing she has a sense of humor because this small brained individual couldn’t carry a meaningful intelligent conversation with this girl if he wanted too. We’ll see how long things last…by next update I might be dating the one of the cleaning girls at my office building!!! But I guess God blessed us all in different ways…mine just happens to be the big white funny guy who lives in a place where they only understand about 75% of what you say and 30% of your jokes. If you ever come over here…check your sarcasm at the door…unless you have another American around its pretty much lost in translation. But I’m persistent and my crude behavior and comments haven’t been snuffed out by the lack of understanding.
As far as work…the pollution of Beijing isn’t improving and the Air Cleaning systems I’m selling are still flying off the shelf. We had our big trade show this past weekend and we found lots of leads and had a chance to share our products with the masses. The highlight of our booth was the massage girl we hired to give head and shoulder massages to the peeps who approached our booth. It was a highlight of the show and since I was in charge of putting the show together I feel that it was one of my better ideas. Don’t worry…I’ll save each and every one of you a pat on my back. It was a good weekend to say the least and I got to take advantage of the massage girl myself three or four times a day.
So life is still pretty good and I’m trying to enjoy it to the fullest. I’ll try and do a better job of keeping everyone up to date. So until next time.
The great disappearing act of 2008 has finally come to an end. After many inquires and request for me to update the blog I’m back at the laptop trying to think where the time has gone. No I didn’t get thrown in a Chinese prison or get ran over by the Beijing public transportation. I’ve just been…well…lazy. Busy as can be…but how hard is it to sit down and spill my guts on this clean sheet? So last time I updated the blog I was just coming back from the adventures of SE Asia. We’ll that time has come and gone and the sand and surf of Phuket and the cockroaches of Vietnam are no more than a distant memory. So what I have I been doing. As you might have seen I went to a MLB baseball game between the LA Dodgers and San Diego Padres…the first time MLB has staged an exhibition in Red China. It was cheap entertainment…about 4 US dollars for seats in the outfield. But I have to question the Chinese and if they’re going to be ready for the Olympics? The security line to get into the game was pretty much a joke. Sure it looked stringent from afar but the long masquerading line was just a typical Chinese façade of security. The boys looked sharp in there Uniform, but they missed the concept of “Security” in a big way. You could have driven two tanks through there and they would have smiled and waved you through ignoring the loud beeping noises coming from the metal detectors. Hey but they did stop me from bringing my water bottle in there…they must be taking lesson’s from the TSA or something. The concept of concession stands was also missed. Actually an Ex-Pat from Seguin, Tx…just outside San Antonio was granted the rights to set up his BBQ joint inside the stadium. The food is terrible and the service sucks…but it’s still the concept of BBQ that get me excited. Albeit spending 2 ½ innings in line to get a beer and a hotdog the atmosphere was exciting and I think every Ex-Pat must have gone to at least one game during the weekend. I almost forgot I was in China minus the fact the Chinese contingent decided to cheer for every single thing that took place. From a ground ball out to a foul ball it was a thrilling time for my Chinese brethren who knew nothing before attending and left knowing probably less!!!! Regardless, the beer was cheap and it was the boys of summer playing in my new back yard.
Let’s see…Personal update…looks like the Chief and his Saigon woman have had to take a leave of absence from each other. The distance of Beijing to Saigon makes it difficult and our busy schedules conflict to have a true meaningful relationship. But we’ll always have Phuket!!!! But as the world turns so does my love life. After meeting a few girls in China I hadn’t really figured any of them we’re worthy of such a stud like me. But recently I’ve been hanging out with a new friend. She just graduated from Peking University (supposedly the Harvard of China) and is pursuing her Masters in Health Sciences…she’s Pre-Med. Good thing she has a sense of humor because this small brained individual couldn’t carry a meaningful intelligent conversation with this girl if he wanted too. We’ll see how long things last…by next update I might be dating the one of the cleaning girls at my office building!!! But I guess God blessed us all in different ways…mine just happens to be the big white funny guy who lives in a place where they only understand about 75% of what you say and 30% of your jokes. If you ever come over here…check your sarcasm at the door…unless you have another American around its pretty much lost in translation. But I’m persistent and my crude behavior and comments haven’t been snuffed out by the lack of understanding.
As far as work…the pollution of Beijing isn’t improving and the Air Cleaning systems I’m selling are still flying off the shelf. We had our big trade show this past weekend and we found lots of leads and had a chance to share our products with the masses. The highlight of our booth was the massage girl we hired to give head and shoulder massages to the peeps who approached our booth. It was a highlight of the show and since I was in charge of putting the show together I feel that it was one of my better ideas. Don’t worry…I’ll save each and every one of you a pat on my back. It was a good weekend to say the least and I got to take advantage of the massage girl myself three or four times a day.
So life is still pretty good and I’m trying to enjoy it to the fullest. I’ll try and do a better job of keeping everyone up to date. So until next time.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
Back in the Jing!!!
The ride is over…literally and figuratively as I’m now back in Beijing entrenched in my mediocre social life and working once again. The 11 day that turned into a 14 day vacation to Vietnam and Thailand is nothing but a distant memory. At least I have 400 photos to help me reminisce and reflect on the two weeks I just had. So most people are probably wondering how much I paid that girl to spend the two weeks with the Chief. I’d say free…but that’s all relative don’t you think? No Hanh…yes…all you Clubbers out there…that is enunciated the same way as Steve Miller and Chicken Wing used to give you shots out with HON Daddy-O. She’s left handed, shares the same Birthday as me (8/20) and her name means cool to a select few. She’s from Vietnam…I call her my Saigon women…but she always reminds me she’s really just a village girl. My friend Mark likes to give me a hard time for having Pen Pals around the world…we’ll Captain…this is what 8 months of Pen Palling gets you sometimes;-) In all honesty, Hanh is a very good friend and we had a wonderful time discovering Vietnam, Thailand, and each other (whoops…sorry Mom). We spent a few nights in Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City if you are on the winning side of that war), than we traveled the scariest road in the World…Hwy 1…to a city called Can Tho. I’ve been there and still can’t pronounce it correctly. Its 200 Km south of Saigon…but getting there took 4 hours…returning took 7 ½. Loads of fun my friends…especially with a girl who has motion sickness. After she passes out an hour into the drive you’re on your own to watch the landscape…you don’t watch the road in front of you or you’ll have an anxiety attack. I tried to capture the true essence of the roads dangers but a still camera just doesn’t do the trick. Its two lanes of traffic that they make into eight. If you’re not about to run over a motor bike, or you can avoid the oncoming traffic barreling down your side of the road…there are wildlife and street vendors to navigate around. I would call it 3rd world living…but I’d also call it population control. If you’re a sick person and want to see a dead body…I’d suggest a trip along Hwy 1 and you’re bound to find a cadaver or two. But if you can look past all the mayhem…and have your ride be the biggest on the road…it really is quite nice!!! My biggest part of the trip was heading to Hanh’s village where her Mother lives and the spot she grew up. I was introduced to the family and I shared a beer with her uncle. Once I was escorted to the great Aunts home I knew something was up. I’m not sure at this point by Vietnamese law if I’m married or not…but when they started throwing rice at me from there bowls I was a little nervous. I’m going to have to Google that and find out what the marriage laws are in Vietnam. I might actually already be divorced again for all I know and owe alimony. But it was actually interesting to see the village life and see the place that Hanh actually was raised. A little bit different than Bellingham, Washington…but at least they didn’t have hippies!!! After a few days in Can Tho, we headed back to Saigon for a night on our way to Thailand. Back to Phuket, Thailand…my favorite city in SE Asia. The Thai people are always wearing a smile and the beaches and weather are second to none. Mr. Paul my taxi driver from last May was once again on call to help shuttle me around the island to all my favorite destinations. Mr. Paul has become part of my family at this point with the amount of time and money I’ve spent with him. He actually invited me to his home next time I go to Phuket to host a BBQ for me in my honor. I thought I was popular in the Vietnamese village!!! After spending 4 days we headed to the airport to fly back to Vietnam. As Chris Berman says…Not so fast my friend. Mr. Thinh my travel agent in Vietnam screwed up my dates and booked my airline ticket for the wrong day. With it being the heavy part of tourist season we were screwed. So I used some of my last Holiday Inn points and booked a room back in Phuket. Unfortunately I couldn’t enjoy it too much as I bugged my parents to help me rebook my ticket and worry about not being able to get back to Beijing. Free tickets are wonderful to have, but if you are in SE Asia they take 10 days to re-issue the ticket. Hence…the extra few days of vacation and a little lighter in the wallet as I had to purchase a whole new ticket on Vietnam Airlines to get back home. Yes…I said it…Beijing is home…feels funny to type…even funnier to say. So we returned back to Vietnam and I spent my time hanging out with Hanh during the day and Jeremy Brim’s girlfriend Trang at night. The hotel people always smiled at me when I would be walking around with Hanh during the day and than I would meet Trang at night. I wish I was that much of a stud…but its all perception!!!! We might not have won the war against Vietnam…but I took a little pride back for the USA this past week!!! I had a great time all in all and I’m happy to be back in the Jing. Yes…that is local jargon. So in a nut shell that is my trip…nothing too earth shattering, but a good time through and through. It’s almost golf season and my company is sponsoring all three golf leagues in town. So I must go hit up the range and see if I can improve on my 99 I shot in Phuket!!! Til' next time my friends....
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
RETURN OF THE RAT
Well, the Lunar New Year is upon us in the land of more than the McDonald's sign claims to have served is upon me. Yes...Chinese New Years!!! I didn't realize the magnitude such an event could have on a culture. Take Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, 4th of July and your 21st birthday and roll it into one giant Spring Roll. Deep fry it, light a sparkler, and pretend you just found Nirvana and you're almost there. The guys dressed in Drag...whoops that's Thailand, sorry...Dragon costumes, people playing instruments I can't identify and yes...the almighty Firework stands are everywhere. No I'm not talking about Bargain Betty's on the Lummi Reservation fireworks...not the Bubba Joe's fireworks from Tennessee either. I'm saying...everyone and there dog saves for three months to emplode as many man made pyrotechnics they can afford. As the Bai Jui flows and the Tsingtao bottles empty it makes for a spectacular site and a lot of trips to the emergency room. If you are a nurse and you have any burn unit experience...you could have a years work in one of the holyist of holy nights in Red China. Nothing like witnessing 4 and 5 year old children blowing up boxes bigger than they are. Whatever happened to M-80's and sparkler bombs???? I guess with the one child rule in affect they figure this might be there only way of having a second child. Cards were in the cards also. If you can play three card no look poker and enjoy a round of Mai Jong this is your type of party. Oh...yeah...Mom and Dad you are wrong. There are no starving kids in China...so that crap you pulled on me as a kid about finishing my plate is highly inaccurate...Like Santa Clause...I feel lied too!!! These people do not cheat themselves when it comes to food. When you think they are done bringing food to the table...we'll you're wrong...there is always more coming. For such a small figured country (Sorry Yao Ming) these people eat like James Cornell after a 40 day fast. I'm always impressed and always full when I leave the table. I sit here at well over 250 and I was just out eaten by a 90 pound soaking wet Chinese female. I'm still trying to investage where these dainty females put all that rice!!! Once I get to the bottom of it I'll make sure I inform you guys!!! My only real knock on the year of the Rat is that ever little logo or emblame or souvigner I see is a mouse. No not micky or minny...but a suprising resemlance to Speedy Gonzalez. That's not a rat China...that's a mouse. Go down to your sewer system and I'll guarantee you'll learn the difference.
How about that Superbowl...all you Eli Manning haters need to suck it up and admit that (David Tyree's catch aside) he was nails during the playoffs. I guess Cooper Manning is the only brother who has yet to live up to Daddy's expectations. Poor Cooper...but he's another after school special I don't have time to talk about. I was hoping the Pat's would pull off the undefeated season, but I can't say I wasn't hurt to see the northern eastern seaboard be silenced for once. With the RedSox Nation, The Pat's run, and the super hyped Celtics...it was good to see the ticker tape parade be sent elsewhere. If I could just figure out how to make Seattle somehow find a way to steal a title in any sport, I couldn't be happier.
The weather has been actually pretty amazing considering where I live and the sun seems to shine every single day. The bitter cold has subsided, but when the winds blow in from the Gobi desert you better find your parka. Gives a whole new meaning to shrinkage!!! It's strange...we've been having such wonderful weather that it makes it hard to sell air purifiers. You can actually go outside and not catch the Beijing cough. I need sick dying children!!! Sorry that is just wrong...but a heavy smog covering the city couldn't hurt business. But...business has closed for the New Year and I'm getting ready to disappear and forget about the cold and sales cycle for 10 days. It's on to warm climates and more beautiful Asian women. I leave tomorrow bound for Vietnam, and than I will make a side trip to Phuket, Thailand to visit one of my most favorite spots in the world. 10 days of relearning how to say hello and thank you while wearing my birkenstocks and bad Hawaiian shirts will be welcome. A round of golf will be in order and a boat cruise on the crystal clear Ademman Sea will give me great pleasure. Being in Beijing for 4 weeks, returning to the same apartment each night and the same desk each morning has sent my body into a tail spin. I'm a road warrior at heart and that will never change. So buckeling in on a flight in the morning will be more welcome than should be considered normal. I wouldn't care if I was flying to Sioux City, Monkton, Reading, or any other podunct North American city...as long as I can get back on the road I'll be a happy little camper. Although I'm being stimulated and challenged everyday being a Beijing Virgin...I still have the road in my blood.
So I'm off to see the Ho Chi Ming trail and cruise down the Makong Delta and go hang out with the king in Thailand. Until next time...keep your mind on your money, and your money on your mind fools!!!!
WAR - Bob Knight...like Norman Dale...I've always loved you and think it's a sad day in the world of sports that you decided to hang up the whistle. The game will miss you, if not for your coaching prowess...but for you unbelievable post game interview sessions. Long live the Bobby Knight legacy and the dying breed he represents.
Chief
How about that Superbowl...all you Eli Manning haters need to suck it up and admit that (David Tyree's catch aside) he was nails during the playoffs. I guess Cooper Manning is the only brother who has yet to live up to Daddy's expectations. Poor Cooper...but he's another after school special I don't have time to talk about. I was hoping the Pat's would pull off the undefeated season, but I can't say I wasn't hurt to see the northern eastern seaboard be silenced for once. With the RedSox Nation, The Pat's run, and the super hyped Celtics...it was good to see the ticker tape parade be sent elsewhere. If I could just figure out how to make Seattle somehow find a way to steal a title in any sport, I couldn't be happier.
The weather has been actually pretty amazing considering where I live and the sun seems to shine every single day. The bitter cold has subsided, but when the winds blow in from the Gobi desert you better find your parka. Gives a whole new meaning to shrinkage!!! It's strange...we've been having such wonderful weather that it makes it hard to sell air purifiers. You can actually go outside and not catch the Beijing cough. I need sick dying children!!! Sorry that is just wrong...but a heavy smog covering the city couldn't hurt business. But...business has closed for the New Year and I'm getting ready to disappear and forget about the cold and sales cycle for 10 days. It's on to warm climates and more beautiful Asian women. I leave tomorrow bound for Vietnam, and than I will make a side trip to Phuket, Thailand to visit one of my most favorite spots in the world. 10 days of relearning how to say hello and thank you while wearing my birkenstocks and bad Hawaiian shirts will be welcome. A round of golf will be in order and a boat cruise on the crystal clear Ademman Sea will give me great pleasure. Being in Beijing for 4 weeks, returning to the same apartment each night and the same desk each morning has sent my body into a tail spin. I'm a road warrior at heart and that will never change. So buckeling in on a flight in the morning will be more welcome than should be considered normal. I wouldn't care if I was flying to Sioux City, Monkton, Reading, or any other podunct North American city...as long as I can get back on the road I'll be a happy little camper. Although I'm being stimulated and challenged everyday being a Beijing Virgin...I still have the road in my blood.
So I'm off to see the Ho Chi Ming trail and cruise down the Makong Delta and go hang out with the king in Thailand. Until next time...keep your mind on your money, and your money on your mind fools!!!!
WAR - Bob Knight...like Norman Dale...I've always loved you and think it's a sad day in the world of sports that you decided to hang up the whistle. The game will miss you, if not for your coaching prowess...but for you unbelievable post game interview sessions. Long live the Bobby Knight legacy and the dying breed he represents.
Chief
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