WEEK DEUX

It's a weird feeling being an immigrant in a foreign land. No, I'm not looking for manual labor jobs or trying to sneak my family onto the continent. But I really do have a new appreciation for "Dial 2" for English when utilizing an ATM machine. I'm not sure if it was the 30 minute taxi ride the other day to try and find my apartment...it should have taken 5 minutes...or if it's the blank stares I receive when I try to use my non-verbal communication. It is amazing how ignorant and helpless I feel at times over here. My co-workers have been great. All but two speak English so I do have a safe haven 8 hours a day. It's just the rest of the clock that seem to be kicking my Anglo ass each and every day. My vocabulary is growing slowly...but I can say thank you and hello like it's nobodies business at this point. My first goal is to try and figure out what they call "Taxi language". Turn Left, Turn Right, Go back, stop, straight ahead, and most importantly...I think we're lost. Even if the blood pressure rises at time, I can still find humor in everything I'm doing over here. I've learned that the people over here don't like to use there limited English unless they're talking about money. Something about the ole' Sawbuck seems to be the international language. No, I'm not talking about Ricky's mom from Better off Dead...and the language of love, but the language of Randy Moss...Straight cash Hommie!!! This is the land of cash. I was forced to pay my rent 6 months in advance....all in cash. And yes, the largest bill minted over here is the 100 dollar Mao. Yes, my boy Mao is on every single bill. They call there money Yuan...or RMB....or Quay. This country is great. Beer is cheaper than water though. And the fact that the water in non-potable it makes the Culligan man a very popular guy. I'm settling into my new place and really appreciating Lily the Aiye. She has cooked me a few meals and I've been able to host both my father and Bob and my new sister Holly for a couple of meals. My Aiye Lilly doesn't speak English, she is an amazingly hard worker, and she washes and cleans my place like my Mom is coming over each day. I'd marry her if I didn't think I already have a better deal keeping this strictly business!!!! Why ruin a good thing right????
I was given a house warming gift of a plant and four fish from Holly. Since I'm American I had to name my new pets. I asked Holly what she thought and she decided that since there were four fish, and the four of us (Rick, Holly, Bob, & myself) we'd name the fish after ourselves. After identifying which fish resembled each character of our posse it was easy to settle on. The first night was a good one for the school of fish. But the second day became a day of mourning. After arriving home late from work and dinner with some Communist party members (long story) I discovered that Lily had misunderstood the directions for caring for the the fish. A half of bag of fish food just didn't seem to sit well with the whole team in the fish bowl. I was able to get Mike, Holly, and Bob to safety without too many repercussions. But poor little Rick didn't seem to have his lucky rabbit foot with him that day. Being a Reverend, Rick was in good hands, as his Beijing burial flushed him on his way to the afterlife and the Beijing sewer system. I tried explaining to Lily what happened...but without a translator...I think she thought I might have ate the poor little fella for dessert. If any of the other's make it to February I'll be proud at this point. But now I do feel better about becoming a man of the Cloth!!!! We did get our first snow of my Chinese existence today, so the weather hasn't been ideal, but what can a guy do? As long as I don't have to ride shotgun in a Taxi, or try to navigate my way across a busy Beijing intersection I should last longer here than Rick the fish.